I came across a tweet
by Madeleine Albright a few weeks’ back
…“There is a special
place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”
That sounds harsh
right? I thought so too. I remember
thinking ‘haba’ aunty why so angry.
But then again I thought, she has so many reasons to be angry. Let’s go back a
bit.
From time immemorial, women
have been taught to compete with one another, “I need to be prettier”, “I need
to be taller’, “my nose is not pointed enough “I need to be smarter”, “I need
to get the best man”, “I need to get the better position”. We have always been
taught to come from a place of lack, a place of want. This is because unlike
men who have always had a number of options to pick from…be it when it comes to
their pick of women or their pick of jobs, women have always had limited
options.
Fast forward to a
couple decades back, out of 10 men in position of power and high level
management positions, there was one woman. As such, any other woman who showed
up was automatically viewed as a threat because they did not think there could
be two, five or ten of them. There was space for only one.
Now, there are a
number of women in top level management positions, women in politics, women who
are partners in big firms. There’s a place for more of us. This means that as
we can climb, we can lift many more people up while still moving up.
The question that
follows naturally from that is; how do we do that?
Firstly, communicate!! In secondary school, my principal used to
make us say every morning “a girl is only seen and not heard”. Till date I am not
sure what that was meant to achieve but I do know that silence and shame are
the things that have stopped most women from reaching out to other women for
help. Silence allows myths and ideas like ‘women are own worst enemies’ to go
unchallenged. Furthermore, shame ferments when we internalize unchallenged
ideas, so the first step is speaking and being unafraid. We should be able to
have courageous conversations with other women. We need to be able to express
displeasure in a respectful and private way and also compliment, encourage and
support each other with reckless abandon.
Secondly, empowerment.
We need to empower women to build themselves. It’s not about just carrying
other women along because you can only carry so many, but teaching skills so
that people can fend for themselves and then those people do the same for
others. A ripple effect is created. If we don’t do it no one
else will. It’s in our best interest for women to be empowered, period. So if
we don’t band together and help ourselves no one else will.
Thirdly, find
your “geng”. Personally, I have always sought out powerful, smart and
all round amazing women to be friends with because, first, I get to be awesome
and amazing by association: people know you by the company you keep. It’s a
beautiful feeling knowing that I have a bunch of supportive women in my corner
so supportive that when they get a promotion for instance, it’s like a boost
for me too because we share a network and don’t need to compete for contacts.
Second, it’s super tough out there, the job market, body image pressure and the
dating scene, so naturally I want the smartest and happiest women in my corner
pushing me to be the best version of myself, pushing me to negotiate for more
money, dump men who make me feel bad about myself and respond to my outfit
selfies from a place of love and not competition.
In a society where women often feel pressured to tear one another down, our saving grace lies in our willingness to lift one another up. We need to empower more and more women with tools to chip and chip away at all glass ceilings till they no longer exist for any of us. No one woman can do this, we’ll always need each other, one for all and all for one.
In a society where women often feel pressured to tear one another down, our saving grace lies in our willingness to lift one another up. We need to empower more and more women with tools to chip and chip away at all glass ceilings till they no longer exist for any of us. No one woman can do this, we’ll always need each other, one for all and all for one.
So now, what if we decided that there’s a
special place in heaven for women who uplift each other, doesn’t that sound
better?
Anita Aruma is a Credit
control officer, proud feminist, lawyer, book lover and foodie.
It’s not about just carrying other women along because you can only carry so many, but teaching skills so that people can fend for themselves and then those people do the same for others. A ripple effect is created. If we don’t do it no one else will. It’s in our best interest for women to be empowered, period. So if we don’t band together and help ourselves no one else will. HP HPE6-A72 Exam Dumps
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